Q. When is a funeral service held?
A. Most families choose to have the funeral service about a week or less after the death has occurred. Another option is to have the body cremated and to hold a memorial service at a later time. This allows the memorial to be held in a function room, private home, or outdoor space, whichever is true to the deceased and the bereaved.
Q. Whose responsibility is it to organise the funeral?
A. The next of kin or the executor of the deceased's estate is legally responsible. However, family members and friends usually co-operate in the planning of a funeral.
Q. Who is a funeral for?
A. The funeral is to honour the life of the deceased person. But just as important, the funeral is to say good-bye and to bring some comfort and closure to the ones left behind. I see that my role is to create and conduct a funeral that honours the deceased but also which brings some consolation to the bereaved, and allows them a safe place to express their grief.
Q. What qualifications do funeral celebrants have?
A. Most celebrants have completed accredited training as a funeral celebrant and have extensive experience in conducting ceremonies. Many are registered marriage celebrants as well.
Q. May I choose my own celebrant or do I have to use the celebrant recommended by the funeral director?
A. You are entitled to choose your own celebrant. Just contact me and I will get in touch your funeral director to make sure that your service runs smoothly.
Q. How do I choose a funeral celebrant?
A. It is important to have a celebrant who understands your family's needs and is experienced enough to be able to advise you of options and to write and conduct a professional, empathetic and compassionate service. I welcome your contact to discuss funeral or memorial arrangements.
Q. Who pays the funeral celebrant?
A. If the celebrant is arranged by the funeral director then the fee is paid by them. The funeral celebrant's fee is sometimes part of the itemised fee that your funeral director charges, so they would pay me as a disbursement. If you wish, you can pay me directly and advise the funeral director that you are doing so. However, if you choose your own celebrant you pay them directly.
Q. How long does a funeral usually last?
A. If the funeral is in the chapel of a crematorium, it is usually expected to last for from 30 to 40 minutes. If you think there will be many tributes and the funeral may take longer, discuss this with your funeral director who can book the chapel for a longer period. If in doubt, have a double booking. However, if you are having your funeral or memorial service in a park or at home or other venue, the length of the service is much more flexible.
Q. Will my celebrant visit me in my home to discuss the content of the funeral service?
A. Unless there are exceptional circumstances, your celebrant will visit you in your home to discuss the funeral service.
Q. Can you help us to choose music and readings which pay tribute to the deceased?
A. I have many ideas and suggestions for readings and music, some of which are on this website. However, each funeral is created to honour the individual who has passed away, and through discussion with those responsible for arranging the funeral, I can help with appropriate music and readings.
Q. Will the celebrant write the eulogy if we give him the information?
A. Your celebrant is capable and skilled at writing eulogies. You will need to give him information about your relative’s life when you meet to plan the funeral.
Q. Will the celebrant help us with the design of an Order of Service for the mourners attending the service?
A. The family prepares the Order of Service in discussion with the Funeral Director, with the celebrant assisting where and when needed. Either the family or the Funeral Director will print the Order of Service.
Q. Is it a good idea to include family members or friends in the service?
A. Family members are encouraged to participate in the service by the reading of poems or readings, or reading a tribute to the deceased. Being involved makes the funeral more personal and can help the bereaved to accept their loss.
Q. Is it appropriate for young people to attend a funeral?
A. Attending the funeral of a loved one can help the child to understand what has happened and that can help in the grieving process. A lot depends on the maturity of the child and their relationship with the deceased.
Q. Can younger family members be included in the service?
A. If they are willing, young people may participate by giving a short reading. Sometimes two will share a reading.
Q. Will my celebrant include religious content in the funeral service if that’s what our family wants?
A. as a humanist celebrant religious content is generally not included. There is an opportunity for silent prayer during the service.
Q. How will my celebrant dress?
A. I dress with respect for the occasion. If you have any special wishes just let me know and I will do what I can to comply.
Q. Is it possible for us to have an audio-visual presentation about the life of our relative?
A. Some crematoria chapels have facilities for this. Tell your funeral director if you want to be able to have this.
Q. Is it possible to include culturally appropriate symbols, rituals, music or readings in the funeral service?
A. Culturally appropriate rituals are appropriate within the restrictions of the chapel, though for a humanist service religious symbols are removed or covered where possible. Discuss this with your celebrant.
Q. I would like to have a copy of the funeral service as a memento of the occasion. Is this possible?
A. Yes, I will give you a printed presentation copy of the service and an e-copy also, if you wish.
Q. How soon after the funeral and cremation do we need to make a decision about where to leave the ashes?
A. There is no time limit. Some people leave behind directions as to where they want their ashes placed. Others leave it up to their family. There is no rush to make a decision. There are many options: placed in a family gravesite, kept at home in an urn ,scattered in a place that was significant to the deceased one, scattering at sea, buried at sea in a reef urn, scattered from the air, placed in a columbarium wall in a cemetery.
Q. What is "Pre-Planning" and "Pre-Arranging" a funeral?
A. Pre-planning means that you have planned your funeral and left notes with your next-of-kin, with your will, or with your chosen funeral director. Pre-Arranging may involve pre-payment to the funeral provider. The most important thing that any of us can do is to leave a Will. Dying intestate (without a will) can cause a lot of heartache and legal expenses for those left behind.
Q. Do you have a question that is not covered here?
Contact me and I will endeavour to help you.